Mike (sxydddy16) wrote,

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Oh Im Out Of My Mind

If anyone saw my away message that I used last night, then you'd come to the understanding perhaps that I wasn't very happy. Now, this is just a possibility. A big maybe. Nah, I made it clear that I was pissed I guess. And I was, very much so. I dont like singling people out and such but... Steven Fletcher you mother fucker!


He's my ex btw. He wants to get back together but Im not really ready nor willing for any kind of relationship right now. Anyway, we're really really close and Im pratically not following my whole no relationship trip Im on or whatever. Cos we say I love you still and babe, and all that shit that couples do. Anyway, hes the one person whos been there for me no matter what, and the one person who I think understandably so, should be here for me now. I spent the last couple of days crying, alone, and just fucked. It was horrible, seriously. I dont ever remember feeling so hurt and sad. It was major, tears just ran. And the simple fact that nobody bothered to ask me what was wrong, or comfort me in any way whatsoever, led to more and more tears. Anyhow, Steve totally blew me off but not before bragging about some guy whos interested in him that he's apparently all upset cos he cant call him or some shit. I dunno.Somethings wrong with me, no joke. lol I feel like, crazy in the head. Im trying to find myself and blah blah blah blah blahhhh! Stupid teenage shit, you get me. Anyway, Im struggling with a lot of things and I feel like I dont have anyone I can talk to about it. I also feel that I shouldnt talk about my problems either, cos everyone has problems... thats life. I dont want to come of as a whiner, but at the same time... I need help.

Today is my little brothers birthday whom by the way were getting ready to take ta school. Yay for him. Crackhead. Im so fucking past the whole drug scene now, and Sean makes it really hard for me to cope and live in my own house. He had people over last night until like 1 doing drugs in his room. Our curfew is 11. Ugh. Shes no fucking help anymore. I swear, she just doesnt fucking care. Oh, unless youre that fucking rabbit of hers or her pimped out hotrod thingy in the garage.


Anyway, I forgot about why I decided to make a post in the first place. I just wanted to say thanks to both Jason and Jose but especially Jason. For those who dont know him, hes the shiznit. He USED to be my best friend but then he got too cool for me. Shocker. lol.. He's all, "No its not!" :-P Anyway, your IM cheered me up bitch, and even if you dont get around to calling me today, just that alone was enough to make me smile. But forget that, pick up the phone you fuck. I'll be waiting. :P Love you. Oh and Jose, youre the bomb too. Thank ya kindly :) And Ill try to give you a call today if any celebration of my evil brothers birth starts to take place. :p

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Im done.
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